littlesilvertip

Hello Flux, my old friend. It’s strange to say, but having nightmares about Battlefield and Flux is an improvement. I got a rough night’s sleep, but better than I can remember in a long time.

( Ruminations distracted by Esther's teenage angst )

( ... And Samantha thinks of kin as cattle. Great. )

( Confirmation that Val is the guilty party. Also, she's 12? What? Oh. )

I’m just… I’m just so upset with her. I need to calm down before I talk to her.

Tending to spirits kept me out late, last night. Neryarta had some things he wanted me to look after, and I never got around to hunting down any earth elementals by the time I was getting tired. I had rough sleep again, but nothing Nephandic. After yesterday’s near-frenzy, I don’t think I could have took it again. I spent most of the day on four legs, because homid is itchy, and I did a bit of exploration of the bawn. It was good weather for it. I thought I caught the scent trail of my sister near the farmhouse (whatever), but it turned out to be old. It was worth a look inside, anyhow. Outside, it smelled of fear. Lots of fear. I wonder what I missed…

Tail-Eater came in shortly after me, looking for Blacklight, Rogue, or the Talon Slayer. He also wanted to know about me and the Talon Slayer; whether I had cursed her. Memory had been talking to him, obviously. I told him what I told her, and Fire-Dancer, about how murder needs some sort of action, and a curse is better than me killing her, as far as those who like her are concerned. He seemed upset with the idea that I would do that to the Talon Slayer. The black kin showed up, cutting off the conversation, and she brought food. Tail-Eater was confused why she called me Anya, and I explained to him that it was better for those who can’t pronounce my real name. I understand why my sister introduces herself as Jacinta… The mage and my Kin talked about being tegusta, but were cut off in turn by Black-Light arriving… spouting some nonsense about a fox spirit? He gave me some sort of cuban tobacco - I think I should have been grateful? Apparently Black Light has a friend who is a fox spirit, or thinks he has one, and he’s doing this for him. Very odd. But, he is a very odd person. He does have sex with other males, and that is weird. Tail Eater and Lynn left, but I asked to talk to Tail-Eater privately, later, so I can ask him about these… Nephandic ideas.

Slug asked about the packs around (what am I, a story knife?), and started asking if I thought he was a bad ragabash or animal people. And why I wouldn’t have him in the pack I’m forming. I explained that he’s a bad fit, and white, and a charach and a renunicate, but mostly he’s a bad fit (Not that I want a charach around my cousin, anyhow). He seemed very hard on himself, which he should be, but also feeling like he’s ready for the third rank, which he’s not. It was a strange mix.

When I left after he sulked off, I realized I touched him a lot. That’s kinda weird. I’m not entirely sure why I did that.

Sleep isn’t coming easy. Seems like my body is dreading the dreams, and is fighting against getting rest. I might start performing rites to take charge of my dreams, so I can recover a bit. I’ve been feeling… flagged. The others know, I think.

I spent the day doing chores, checking traps - the last while had got me an abundant bounty. Three beavers, four squirrels, two marten, a coyote, and one last otter.  With spring around the corner, I pulled my traps for this winter. I didn’t do bad for only a month. I think I could have done better if I had more time to prepare. As it is, I think this is a nice harvest for what little time I had. I skinned them all out and began drying them, and that took me most of the day.

( Slug seems to know something's up )

I wanted to collect my thoughts, so I went to go make a fire and stare at it. It wasn’t big enough and my eyes kept wandering, so I went sideways, and made a big one there. I was hoping to attract some more enigmatic spirits, so I might work through my thoughts better. Instead, the fire was large enough that a small elemental came and payed attention to it, but it was ignoring me. All the same, I had a hard time organizing my thoughts.

Unfinished Business came, wondered why I was making such a big fire. I told her big fire for a big problems, but when she kept asking, I shut up. Instead, I talked to her about the totems for our pack. I ‘picked her brain’ for a bit, figuring out whether she could be a good fit for Uktena. She has some… wendigo thoughts, but seems like she could be a good fit. Of course, words alone are nothing; I need to see how she behaves. Still, I have good hopes for her as a packmate.

( Samantha learns I wasn't always a woman, and pokes and prods )

( When the hell did self-immolation become reasonable?! )

Unfinished-Business thought I was insane. Maybe I am. This… is going to take a small while to heal.

To think I’ve been so paranoid about my fur catching fire for the last 8 years. After that? Hah. Fire is nothing.

I wonder if I can get the other elementals to teach me their signs, too? I could master all four, and call for them at will…

After I heal, anyhow.

It took a while, but the last part of the second tail is totally destroyed. Gone. Obliterated. My task is achieved. A bit of time spent on the Rune-Scape, and then I went back to the lake to sleep.

( Coyote returns, a few years late )

I made the mistake of stopping by the caern, seeing if I could run into more Bone Gnawers on the way to the scab, maybe avoid having to go all the way out there for work. I only found Slug, who I already talked to. But then I heard a voice below.

In the tunnels.

( I don't need these nightmares again. )
I’m still echoing. Fuck.

Scab trip is postponed again. Plenty of time for sewing, and resting, hoping the time magic would go away soon. It didn’t. I was resting outside when Unfinished Business came out, and started doing a minor rite. When she started getting close to me, I let her know I was there, so she didn’t trip over me. She seemed impressed by the echoes, and thought it was a new trick I learned. She has a point - maybe in combat, this could be useful? If I can recreate it at will without pure wyld magic. Unfinished Business offered to help, but I don’t see how she can. She’s nice, though. She reminds me of a young, not ugly Untangler, who is a little faster in thought.

I sacked out there for the rest of the night, but sleep isn’t coming. I’ll do some sewing, and take some awakened medicine. I need the sleep.

More nightmares. I’m using a rite tonight to deal with that. I’m out of Flux. I’m safe. I don’t need to… yeah. 

 

( Javid is an odd Jackal. )

 

( Slug comes by, and brings a favourite gift... )

 

Slug wants to do a vision quest. I told him to talk to his tribe’s shaman, and what little I know about Omega Tribe spiritualism: Coors and Nyquil is the combination, right?