littlesilvertip

Three years, nearly four years is a long time, but it went by so fast. So many things to write about: getting married, starting a family, the guerilla war over the Mine, walking the night sky... so many things that I'm proud of, things that I love. The war against Pebble is ongoing, even if we have them running in defeat. My daughter is back with my husband in the village. Even if I can't spend large amounts of time with them, I still want to be close.

So why am I going back to the "Old Wheel?" In a word, Sedna.

She's one of the old gods of the people up north. A deep, powerful, and mercurial woman, master of the north seas. And she came to me while exploring the night sky, and told me things. She told me that there was, or is, or will be an evil down by what was the Old Wheel, where there's the New Accord, and it will be my duty to bring about its destruction. The only help I have is that when I see the evil, I will know. Since I don't already know, it must be a thing that hasn't yet happened. So, duty calls. Begrudgingly, south I go.

( Arriving back in St. Claire )

( Running into Val on the way back )

It’s a grimoire. Earth Whisperer had a grimoire buried all this time, and didn’t even realize it. I can’t blame him, I guess. He doesn’t have background to appreciate what it is. Hell, I barely do. It’s full of discussions of bodily processes, and how their function can be improved, harmed, and so on. It’s got a primer on terminology. It’s got reference material. This is some poor Verbena’s personal book, likely used in his learning process. This could be big. This could be huge. This could be the thing that that helps me be back with Nova again. I can’t be back with her unless I’m a man again. This is the first glimmer of anything useful I’ve seen in ages. But Earth Whisperer offered it to the totem as chiminage. Sapphire is going to take it and disappear it to… wherever it is that spirits keep their things like this. I’m never going to see it again.

Except… except Earth Whisperer offered the totem ‘a mage thing.’ Nothing specific. As long as I give Sapphire something of equal value of what he thought he offered her (and the value of what she accepted), she won’t mind. He offers her ‘a hundred dollars’ of Chiminage, she gets ‘a hundred dollars’ of chiminage. Right? She still gets good chiminage. I get my manparts back, finish marrying Nova, have a ton of kids with a great bloodline, and get to raise them as good Yuk.

Just a few steps between here and there

( Nicodemus is not a photocopying service for dead mage property )

( Plan B: Buying something off Val. Feeling stabbed in the back )
Fucking Ravens.

( Dagny 'makes a request,' and Silvertip takes all the anger from Val and dumps it on the Get )

( Settling accounts with Sapphire )

Hello Flux, my old friend. It’s strange to say, but having nightmares about Battlefield and Flux is an improvement. I got a rough night’s sleep, but better than I can remember in a long time.

( Ruminations distracted by Esther's teenage angst )

( ... And Samantha thinks of kin as cattle. Great. )

( Confirmation that Val is the guilty party. Also, she's 12? What? Oh. )

I’m just… I’m just so upset with her. I need to calm down before I talk to her.

Hiding. I was hiding. Leave it to a bird to find me, while I stayed away from Nova. She came down, and asked me why I looked wrong. I told her everything was fine, but she didn’t believe it. She said she wanted to help - like she helped with the mage? I told her off for that, and she said I was being silly. Meh. All telling things I told her, thinking she’d keep her beak shut? Yeah, that is silly. She’s in denial that he stares at people, and told me I was being crazy. Aren’t birds supposed to be observant?

She claimed she wanted to try Jaguar Leaf, but she didn’t look interested when she tried it. She talked me into talking to her. I told her about Nova, she told me I should hit her if she tried anything. But then she said she didn’t say that. She said no one is forcing me to, you know, do that. Well, no… but they’re still looking. Or wanting to. I got out of there when I could.

I didn’t know how long Nova’d be around, so I hid away from the lake until I could be sure. I managed to even avoid even the wendigo, since I knew they’d give me a hard time. Well, managed for a while. Eventually Unfinished Business’s feather chasing (She does Run With the Wind regularly) accidentally too her to me. I hid up on a log, trying to blend in with the snow, but she spot me eventually. I told her to go away, so she wouldn’t lead Nova to me but she wouldn’t. She threatened to bite Nova, and I had to tell her not to. It’s not that I don’t like Nova. I just… I just don’t want to do that with her. Or anyone. Not like this.

Unfinished Business reminded me it’s not bad - even if it feels that way - it’s our duty. I… she’s right. I’ve been saying that for years. But the thought of doing it… I nearly frenzied again. It’s been rough. I don’t know what’s going on with me anymore. It’s all these damned nightmares, and Nova, and Black-Light poking at me, and mages stealing wolves, and… I ended up telling Unfinished Business about the nightmare I’d been having. I don’t remember why, but I swore her not to tell anyone. The dream about the nephandic rituals. I left a lot of details out, but… She seemed to think I needed protected for real. She’s young and naïve still. Tried to talk me going back down to the lake. Maybe. Maybe if Nova’s gone.

Maybe.

It started with Fire-Dancer coming by the caern. I was sorting through my thoughts still, in the caern, when she did. She wanted to talk about the cub.

( Emma asks about her cub, looking like she'd like to pick a fight. Then lectures on needing to open my heart. )

After a while of trying to make what I could of what she told me, I finished in the caern, and went looking for my cousin, to have that conversation with her about honour. I thought she’d gone to the Farmhouse (Edgewood. Whatever), but she wasn’t there, and it was raining, so I made some tea. And that’s when she arrived.

The Talon-Slayer.
( The wounds Riley inflicted are still fresh )

I didn’t need to sleep much. Setting up all of what I needed to do to prepare to destroy her luck was restful enough for me. I didn’t finish it, though - I needed to get together chiminage for the tuunraq that would help me. I was close.

( Emma takes issue with my anger towards Riley. How. Dare. She. )

Maybe I despise her.

This time, I didn’t go to sleep until late on purpose. I knew the moot was coming, so I spent the night working on the rune puzzle instead. I don’t think I’ve made any progress, though. I realized halfway through the night that I hadn’t made any progress with the cannibal - this puzzle keeps calling to me, taking up my attention.

Before the moot, I made more progress with my parka, and worked on getting sinew out of the elk my cousin and I killed - I’m starting to run short of basics like that. It’s tedious work, but it rests my mind. Not too much thinking like an ape. I enjoyed it a lot.

( Moot? Moot. It's moot. )

( Talking to another Bone Gnawer. Nice, but ugly. )
( Telling Melodie about the canibal, talking about her insane tribe, and getting advice. )
( Val has crazy plans that I want no part of. )

It’s too late to go to the scab tonight; I’m heading back to the lake to rest instead. And to destroy this last part of me. Hopefully, there’s no more pieces floating around that I don’t know about.

 

( Sleep brings nightmares, Memory brings food, Emma brings a new start )