"You are unforgiven."
Thursday, 6 March 2014 12:00![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
littlesilvertipIt started with Fire-Dancer coming by the caern. I was sorting through my thoughts still, in the caern, when she did. She wanted to talk about the cub.
I’d seen her before like that. Full of opinions, like she’d decided how things are already, and wants to fight with me. If this is where we’re going back to, I’m going to stop spending time with her. I told her what happened, and she began doing that thing - telling me where parts of my story were wrong. I let her know that I was staying with my story - after a bit, I told her it sounded like she wanted to fight, and I wasn’t interested in fighting.
A little talk later, Fire-Dancer asked me if I had asked her help not for working with the other tribes, but for actually lying to them. She started by asking me not to get angry to the question - that’s not fair - before she said that. My honor has stains, but it’s not that stained. I told her I have no doubt in my heart that my tribe is right, and the others aren’t. She wanted to know if I saw nothing in the other tribes; I told her of the good I saw in the other tribes, but the bad as well. She wanted to know what Uktena and Wendigo failed at, and I told her it was Croatan. Our biggest mistake. She didn’t seem to like that answer.
She said lots of things that belong in the mouth of a Gaian. “Open Heart:” A great way to get stabbed. She made a point about how I must sound to the other tribes - something I’ll consider - but this thing about ‘all the tribes being created for a purpose and a place’ is nonsense. The Grandmother didn’t make tribes. The wolf people did. When she left, she told me the tribe she struggles to find value in the most is her own. This does not seem right.
After a while of trying to make what I could of what she told me, I finished in the caern, and went looking for my cousin, to have that conversation with her about honour. I thought she’d gone to the Farmhouse (Edgewood. Whatever), but she wasn’t there, and it was raining, so I made some tea. And that’s when she arrived.
The Talon-Slayer.
How long had it been since I last thought about this? Not long enough. As soon as I saw her, all my anger and hatred was back in an instant. I thought she might have died in wolf-home. No luck. She didn’t recognize me at all, and must have thought it odd that I was so angry about making tea. She left to clean up, giving me time to drink, and cool the beast down. I would give her a chance. Something she hadn’t given Finds Death. The weird Fury was there, but I ignored her. Talon-Slayer was more important. The most important.
The look on her face when I told her who I am said everything. She knew what she’d done, and why I was there. I accused her of murdering Finds Death. She agreed. I nearly used my gift to throw her out a window right that instant, but I kept my cool. Barely. I gave her a chance like I told myself I would.
And she didn’t beg. She said that Griffin gave his ‘forgiveness’ (whatever that means for Griffin), and Earth Whisperer wasn’t seeking her blood. She accepted that she killed Finds Death. I told her that as far as I cared, she was still a murderer. By this point, I was so enraged that I was tripping over my words right and left. My tongue was not my friend, but she got the message. She said if I killed her, I’d just be becoming her. She was right, and that pissed me off so badly. I’m not like her at all. Not even close. I called a few curses on her, without working any magic, and stormed off.
I didn’t need to sleep much. Setting up all of what I needed to do to prepare to destroy her luck was restful enough for me. I didn’t finish it, though - I needed to get together chiminage for the tuunraq that would help me. I was close.
I went looking for ideas, and things, which - again - took my by the farmhouse. I gave a few sniffs, and the Talon Slayer wasn’t there. There was some loud voices, so I went to check it out. Memory, Fire-Dancer, and Rogue were there. My guess is Rogue told them of my encounter with the talon slayer the night before; Fire Dancer demanded to know by what right I would put a curse on the Talon-Slayer.
I’ve had enough of her shit.
She didn’t have a packmate killed. She doesn’t have her packmate’s killer running around in front of her. I should be killing the Talon-Slayer - a curse is her getting off easy. She would be alive, which can’t be said for Finds Death. Blood for blood. Price must be paid for murder, or they will learn that they can kill whatever they want.
When she claimed I just ‘scolded’ Finds Death, because I agreed with her. She said there are rules that I am not above. I nearly frenzied on her. She doesn’t understand what the hell she’s talking about. She was there for none of this. Like the cub, she would tell me what actually happened.
She ordered me away, like she was dominant to me. No. No, it does not work this way. I demanded combat for her challenges. She snidely told me she was master of the challenge, and that I was challenging /her/. Ape trickery and word twisting. I despise this. The hatred I feel towards her is growing. I remember her doing this in the past. I remember her other dishonourable deeds, too.
Maybe I despise her.
I’d seen her before like that. Full of opinions, like she’d decided how things are already, and wants to fight with me. If this is where we’re going back to, I’m going to stop spending time with her. I told her what happened, and she began doing that thing - telling me where parts of my story were wrong. I let her know that I was staying with my story - after a bit, I told her it sounded like she wanted to fight, and I wasn’t interested in fighting.
A little talk later, Fire-Dancer asked me if I had asked her help not for working with the other tribes, but for actually lying to them. She started by asking me not to get angry to the question - that’s not fair - before she said that. My honor has stains, but it’s not that stained. I told her I have no doubt in my heart that my tribe is right, and the others aren’t. She wanted to know if I saw nothing in the other tribes; I told her of the good I saw in the other tribes, but the bad as well. She wanted to know what Uktena and Wendigo failed at, and I told her it was Croatan. Our biggest mistake. She didn’t seem to like that answer.
She said lots of things that belong in the mouth of a Gaian. “Open Heart:” A great way to get stabbed. She made a point about how I must sound to the other tribes - something I’ll consider - but this thing about ‘all the tribes being created for a purpose and a place’ is nonsense. The Grandmother didn’t make tribes. The wolf people did. When she left, she told me the tribe she struggles to find value in the most is her own. This does not seem right.
After a while of trying to make what I could of what she told me, I finished in the caern, and went looking for my cousin, to have that conversation with her about honour. I thought she’d gone to the Farmhouse (Edgewood. Whatever), but she wasn’t there, and it was raining, so I made some tea. And that’s when she arrived.
The Talon-Slayer.
How long had it been since I last thought about this? Not long enough. As soon as I saw her, all my anger and hatred was back in an instant. I thought she might have died in wolf-home. No luck. She didn’t recognize me at all, and must have thought it odd that I was so angry about making tea. She left to clean up, giving me time to drink, and cool the beast down. I would give her a chance. Something she hadn’t given Finds Death. The weird Fury was there, but I ignored her. Talon-Slayer was more important. The most important.
The look on her face when I told her who I am said everything. She knew what she’d done, and why I was there. I accused her of murdering Finds Death. She agreed. I nearly used my gift to throw her out a window right that instant, but I kept my cool. Barely. I gave her a chance like I told myself I would.
And she didn’t beg. She said that Griffin gave his ‘forgiveness’ (whatever that means for Griffin), and Earth Whisperer wasn’t seeking her blood. She accepted that she killed Finds Death. I told her that as far as I cared, she was still a murderer. By this point, I was so enraged that I was tripping over my words right and left. My tongue was not my friend, but she got the message. She said if I killed her, I’d just be becoming her. She was right, and that pissed me off so badly. I’m not like her at all. Not even close. I called a few curses on her, without working any magic, and stormed off.
I didn’t need to sleep much. Setting up all of what I needed to do to prepare to destroy her luck was restful enough for me. I didn’t finish it, though - I needed to get together chiminage for the tuunraq that would help me. I was close.
I went looking for ideas, and things, which - again - took my by the farmhouse. I gave a few sniffs, and the Talon Slayer wasn’t there. There was some loud voices, so I went to check it out. Memory, Fire-Dancer, and Rogue were there. My guess is Rogue told them of my encounter with the talon slayer the night before; Fire Dancer demanded to know by what right I would put a curse on the Talon-Slayer.
I’ve had enough of her shit.
She didn’t have a packmate killed. She doesn’t have her packmate’s killer running around in front of her. I should be killing the Talon-Slayer - a curse is her getting off easy. She would be alive, which can’t be said for Finds Death. Blood for blood. Price must be paid for murder, or they will learn that they can kill whatever they want.
When she claimed I just ‘scolded’ Finds Death, because I agreed with her. She said there are rules that I am not above. I nearly frenzied on her. She doesn’t understand what the hell she’s talking about. She was there for none of this. Like the cub, she would tell me what actually happened.
She ordered me away, like she was dominant to me. No. No, it does not work this way. I demanded combat for her challenges. She snidely told me she was master of the challenge, and that I was challenging /her/. Ape trickery and word twisting. I despise this. The hatred I feel towards her is growing. I remember her doing this in the past. I remember her other dishonourable deeds, too.
Maybe I despise her.
