I saw this coming, and yet I walked right into it.
Tuesday, 18 February 2014 23:41![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
littlesilvertipNext to no sleep last night. I don’t think I need to say why again. What I did get was horrible. I’m keeping moving mostly through stimulants at this point. It did give me plenty of sewing time, and the parka is nearly finished. If I had more material, I’d give it nicer trim, but the trim isn’t bad now.
I’m also still echoing through time. I tried one or two more things, before I decided to contact the mage again. I was waiting near the kass’at house when Fire-Dancer came. I had to explain how I got these weird echoes to her (I left out the part where I pissed myself), but not before she told me that Turtle had got himself into some bad trouble with the fallen tribe. From what they say, mistakes were made, and he nearly died. I agreed to take him in and protect him, but I think I won’t keep him in places where he might bring danger to all of us. I can leave care for him without putting us all at risk.
She also mentioned Memory told her I was hunting the cannibal. I don’t remember saying that, but maybe she figured it out from bits that I said. This is a problem - I don’t need the cannibal knowing that I’m searching for it. What do I have to do to keep her beak shut about this until afterwards? Eventually, both our tempers began to snap. I took a moment to calm down, and she did too. She hasn’t been sleeping either. I told her to chew some willow, but I don’t think she will.
Since I couldn’t send a message to the mage through the fox, I sent a spirit to talk to him while I made the fox comfortable. It was a while before I heard back - he was not happy, injured, but agreed to see me. I brought what I needed to summon Neryarta with me, to make sure he was okay. He looked… very unwell. Bleeding from everything, hair in all directions, dressed strangely, and more. I forgot about my problems with time for a moment, set up to bring Neryarta into this world.
The Bear was furious with me. In retrospect, I knew this was coming. I even wrote it down. But somehow, I still walked right into it. I find new helping spirits so easily because I keep the old ways. But that isn’t true, since the changes happened. When I did the summoning, I did it like I always used to do it, dancing like a man would. Why wouldn’t my tuunraq be offended? He all but threw me across the room, and snarled at me for what he saw as an insult. It was pretty obvious that he took offense to my not following the old ways to the T, and so I had to immediately begin apologizing. Apologizing lots. I had a hard time asking him for help with the mage. I had to play up how much the mage had been a protector of others, and kind and merciful. It was all true, but it feels like I lied to Neryarta a little. I dislike that. He's not just a tuunraq, but a friend.
He agreed to help the mage, and healed the mage’s wounds. Nicodemus still looked strange, but he didn’t bleed anymore. He then told me I owe him greatly. I’m not sure what chiminage he’s going to ask for, but for the botched summoning, it’s going to be something annoying. The mage was feeling generous, and purged the rest of the echoes through time I had. It didn’t hurt at all, this time, which was nice. I told him I as going to be in the city for a while, and he offered to help - as long as he could do it from his home. I don’t think he’s entirely well yet.
While I was at the mages, I got to see another one of his circles. This one was different. It had… signs of math on it? I think. I tried not to stare much, so I didn’t get a chance to memorize it. But I saw enough that when I left, I drew most of it from memory before I forgot. I don’t have time to study this now, but I’m going to.
I went back to check on Turtle, and while I was watching over him, started to make new dance fans. I wrote it before: either I deal with my situation, I get new helper spirits, or accept doing things as a girl for now. I don’t have time to get all new helper spirits yet. It took Turtle a while to wake up, so I made some good progress. Pretty ugly, but a good first try. I just need caribou beard to finish them. When he woke up, he told me what happened (again) and I warned him about him being hunted. He was concerned about the mage; He seemed to know that doing magic would harm the mage. Interesting. I told him that I already saw him, and made sure he wasn’t bleeding all over. Turtle didn’t ask me about why I couldn’t do the same for him (or why it looks like I ran into tree), so I avoided telling him about that.
I told him again about the cannibal again, telling him about how Older Brother has ferreted out the cannibals ever since Younger Brother took the maneater as their totem. His education as an Uktena is weak, which makes me sad. I know he is a fox changer first, but he should know the history of our people. He understood it clearly by the end, though, and I asked him for help narrowing the hunt. Unfortunately, he’s not that kind of sorcerer, an aside from advice I already had, there wasn’t much. He did remind me to talk to Yellow Horse, and find out more. That should be my first step when I arrive in the city.
I did a little more to finish the dance fans, since I’ll need those for performing rituals, and stuffed the parka, my needles and materials in my poke, so I have something to work on in the scab. Tomorrow I need to stop by the caern. All the paying off of spirits has left my soul feeling unenergetic; I need to recover my gnosis badly. Before then, I’m going to take a large dose tonight, to ensure I don’t wake up from the nightmares, if I have them again. I’m going to need to be awake for the scab.
I’m also still echoing through time. I tried one or two more things, before I decided to contact the mage again. I was waiting near the kass’at house when Fire-Dancer came. I had to explain how I got these weird echoes to her (I left out the part where I pissed myself), but not before she told me that Turtle had got himself into some bad trouble with the fallen tribe. From what they say, mistakes were made, and he nearly died. I agreed to take him in and protect him, but I think I won’t keep him in places where he might bring danger to all of us. I can leave care for him without putting us all at risk.
She also mentioned Memory told her I was hunting the cannibal. I don’t remember saying that, but maybe she figured it out from bits that I said. This is a problem - I don’t need the cannibal knowing that I’m searching for it. What do I have to do to keep her beak shut about this until afterwards? Eventually, both our tempers began to snap. I took a moment to calm down, and she did too. She hasn’t been sleeping either. I told her to chew some willow, but I don’t think she will.
Since I couldn’t send a message to the mage through the fox, I sent a spirit to talk to him while I made the fox comfortable. It was a while before I heard back - he was not happy, injured, but agreed to see me. I brought what I needed to summon Neryarta with me, to make sure he was okay. He looked… very unwell. Bleeding from everything, hair in all directions, dressed strangely, and more. I forgot about my problems with time for a moment, set up to bring Neryarta into this world.
The Bear was furious with me. In retrospect, I knew this was coming. I even wrote it down. But somehow, I still walked right into it. I find new helping spirits so easily because I keep the old ways. But that isn’t true, since the changes happened. When I did the summoning, I did it like I always used to do it, dancing like a man would. Why wouldn’t my tuunraq be offended? He all but threw me across the room, and snarled at me for what he saw as an insult. It was pretty obvious that he took offense to my not following the old ways to the T, and so I had to immediately begin apologizing. Apologizing lots. I had a hard time asking him for help with the mage. I had to play up how much the mage had been a protector of others, and kind and merciful. It was all true, but it feels like I lied to Neryarta a little. I dislike that. He's not just a tuunraq, but a friend.
He agreed to help the mage, and healed the mage’s wounds. Nicodemus still looked strange, but he didn’t bleed anymore. He then told me I owe him greatly. I’m not sure what chiminage he’s going to ask for, but for the botched summoning, it’s going to be something annoying. The mage was feeling generous, and purged the rest of the echoes through time I had. It didn’t hurt at all, this time, which was nice. I told him I as going to be in the city for a while, and he offered to help - as long as he could do it from his home. I don’t think he’s entirely well yet.
While I was at the mages, I got to see another one of his circles. This one was different. It had… signs of math on it? I think. I tried not to stare much, so I didn’t get a chance to memorize it. But I saw enough that when I left, I drew most of it from memory before I forgot. I don’t have time to study this now, but I’m going to.
I went back to check on Turtle, and while I was watching over him, started to make new dance fans. I wrote it before: either I deal with my situation, I get new helper spirits, or accept doing things as a girl for now. I don’t have time to get all new helper spirits yet. It took Turtle a while to wake up, so I made some good progress. Pretty ugly, but a good first try. I just need caribou beard to finish them. When he woke up, he told me what happened (again) and I warned him about him being hunted. He was concerned about the mage; He seemed to know that doing magic would harm the mage. Interesting. I told him that I already saw him, and made sure he wasn’t bleeding all over. Turtle didn’t ask me about why I couldn’t do the same for him (or why it looks like I ran into tree), so I avoided telling him about that.
I told him again about the cannibal again, telling him about how Older Brother has ferreted out the cannibals ever since Younger Brother took the maneater as their totem. His education as an Uktena is weak, which makes me sad. I know he is a fox changer first, but he should know the history of our people. He understood it clearly by the end, though, and I asked him for help narrowing the hunt. Unfortunately, he’s not that kind of sorcerer, an aside from advice I already had, there wasn’t much. He did remind me to talk to Yellow Horse, and find out more. That should be my first step when I arrive in the city.
I did a little more to finish the dance fans, since I’ll need those for performing rituals, and stuffed the parka, my needles and materials in my poke, so I have something to work on in the scab. Tomorrow I need to stop by the caern. All the paying off of spirits has left my soul feeling unenergetic; I need to recover my gnosis badly. Before then, I’m going to take a large dose tonight, to ensure I don’t wake up from the nightmares, if I have them again. I’m going to need to be awake for the scab.
