Gut spelunking
Monday, 10 February 2014 00:00![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
littlesilvertipBad sleep. Maybe I was a bit premature in deciding I had success. Talking to Turtle about that place the night before put me into a bad mood, and it carried into my sleep. I was up early, and time was only slightly weird. Turtle stopped by, and gave me a message:
"I-90, mile marker 249, step sideways to the umbra, 8pm on the nose, and if anyone else shows up then the meet is off."
I trust my kin, but… there’s a phrase, I remember in English. It’s supposed to be a funny one. “In God We Trust. All Others We Lie Test.” Mages do not have inherent allegiances to the Grandmother; I needed to make sure this wasn’t a trap. I arrived, but I walked around, looking into the Umbra with my gifts. He set up a decoy that was fake when you took a long look at it up close. So I looked around to see if there was a real trap around. And then I saw him.
It was Nicodemus. He’s not a Corax… he’s a mage! Oh, grandmother, what a fool I was! I’d be laughing about that now, if I didn’t feel like puking. It’s like if I were to set a beaver snare, and a cross fox drown in it. Still, I feel good: my sniffing him and Memory's lies out was sound. Maybe that’s why he was staring at me so much at the house. Well, that, or he’s… I’m not going to let my mind go there.
I went into the umbra and called him out. He seemed a little upset that I just blinked into the umbra and laughed at the absurdity of it all. He said something about not trying to play hide and seek - like he’d have a chance against me. I played with Untangler, the best of the best. He also said my sister knew he was a mage. This is a surprise. Did she know when I was sept alpha? I won’t ask her. If she did, she kept it from me for reasons of honor. She’s always been more honorable than me.
I asked what kind of mage, and he said his “Tradition” was as an “Orphan.” He also confirmed Memory has the bit of tail I bit off. I’ll need to get that back. Grandmother alone knows what magic could be worked on me with that.
We discussed price. He wants left alone. I’ll leave him alone, but that’s not a fair trade. He kept trying to change away from that; Does he want me in his debt? I don’t stay in debt. I balance things.
Anyhow, we talked for a while about the nature of the effects on me. He had an idea, but I pointed out that the time and the physical differences came at different stages, which was a bit of a bit of a difference. We quickly got bogged down in terminology. He kept thinking Yugcetun didn’t express the nuances well. I think this is probably a limitation of whatever magic he was using to speak our tongue, because I was using the words perfectly fine. He wanted to get into my head, which was my first major cause for concern. There’s a lot in there I don’t want anyone around. I asked that he let me use mind-magic of my own to verify his intentions were sound before I let him. In order to facilitate the discussion, he drew a circle, and then began weaving an effect. It was… fascinating to watch him do it. He uses focuses like we do, but… is it more symbolic meaning? Why not shortcut, and tap into the true spiritual nature of things. I guess I don’t do that when I make summoning circles. I wonder if the effect was to focus his magic to a spot, like in my rites? So much to learn.
Once that was done, communication came much more readily. I explained how I was stuck in Flux, and… some of the pains I had. I told him basically everything. And I nearly started wailing like a pup when I did. I managed to keep my emotions in check - dwelling on that time is not going to be healthy for me, I know it. He seemed impressed that I managed to assert my will on the reality of Flux. It’s nice to hear another Angalkuq compliment my skill, even if it is a world warper.
He offered to burn off the leftover energy from sitting on a fount of change energy for a year, using that to fuel twisting things back. He said however I ended up is however I would likely stay. At first, this was cause for concern. I started weighing risks and rewards. But the desire to have my own bones back was overwhelming, and I agreed to do it. This was incredibly foolish of me. With enough time, I could construct a more thought out plan. But I wanted to be nukalpiaq again so bad. I took the wolf shape and laid down. He spent a while investigating my magic. No doubt he knows more about my gifts and rites than I do, now. Eventually, he gave it a go. “Time Energy” I didn’t even know was left over came out and burned up in a fairly spectacular way. This caused me to come to my senses, and realize the cost of a mistake was incredibly high. We were already committed then. He used his magic to play around with my insides, and vivisect out the extra tail.
I puked all over.
He started to get more energetic, yanking at organs and battering me around for… I don’t know. Maybe an hour? Less than that. Hard to tell. He gave up and apologized. I saw why pretty quickly: The tail was gone, but I was still lacking… man-ness. He said Time is gone, the tail was gone, but the rest was too hard for his knowledge of Life Magic. That it was weakened, and may drip out over time, in hope. He described it as weakening threads (vines), and that there was one he could not cut. Unless it heals, it should die.
I really don’t have much assurance it won’t heal. Didn’t he say once the energy was burned off, I would likely remain as I was? I have hope, but it’s less than I woke up with.
I think I babbled something about trading with him at the end. To be honest, I was too worn out by having my guts rifled through, and the thought about remaining woman was foremost on my mind. I staggered back to my Tuunrat for a bit of a rest, before I made it back to the Kass’at house for the healing fetish.
This was all bad decision making by me. I should have taken it more cautiously. It was very impulsive of me. I hope in accepting his offer, I haven't made the situation worse to work against. I just...
I’m going to have to look into what traditions are, and what an Orphan is. Also, sprits with a tangible power of metamorphosis. I need to learn more about Flux, and whether I’ll be fighting my own form’s desire to be immutable now that the leftover energies are burnt off. And if I /do/ change eventually, I need to find out if it’s worth my time to ‘adapt to the situation’ to keep my tuunrat pleased with me, or just ride it out until things change, when they’ll calm down again.
I also need to work on these dreams.
"I-90, mile marker 249, step sideways to the umbra, 8pm on the nose, and if anyone else shows up then the meet is off."
I trust my kin, but… there’s a phrase, I remember in English. It’s supposed to be a funny one. “In God We Trust. All Others We Lie Test.” Mages do not have inherent allegiances to the Grandmother; I needed to make sure this wasn’t a trap. I arrived, but I walked around, looking into the Umbra with my gifts. He set up a decoy that was fake when you took a long look at it up close. So I looked around to see if there was a real trap around. And then I saw him.
It was Nicodemus. He’s not a Corax… he’s a mage! Oh, grandmother, what a fool I was! I’d be laughing about that now, if I didn’t feel like puking. It’s like if I were to set a beaver snare, and a cross fox drown in it. Still, I feel good: my sniffing him and Memory's lies out was sound. Maybe that’s why he was staring at me so much at the house. Well, that, or he’s… I’m not going to let my mind go there.
I went into the umbra and called him out. He seemed a little upset that I just blinked into the umbra and laughed at the absurdity of it all. He said something about not trying to play hide and seek - like he’d have a chance against me. I played with Untangler, the best of the best. He also said my sister knew he was a mage. This is a surprise. Did she know when I was sept alpha? I won’t ask her. If she did, she kept it from me for reasons of honor. She’s always been more honorable than me.
I asked what kind of mage, and he said his “Tradition” was as an “Orphan.” He also confirmed Memory has the bit of tail I bit off. I’ll need to get that back. Grandmother alone knows what magic could be worked on me with that.
We discussed price. He wants left alone. I’ll leave him alone, but that’s not a fair trade. He kept trying to change away from that; Does he want me in his debt? I don’t stay in debt. I balance things.
Anyhow, we talked for a while about the nature of the effects on me. He had an idea, but I pointed out that the time and the physical differences came at different stages, which was a bit of a bit of a difference. We quickly got bogged down in terminology. He kept thinking Yugcetun didn’t express the nuances well. I think this is probably a limitation of whatever magic he was using to speak our tongue, because I was using the words perfectly fine. He wanted to get into my head, which was my first major cause for concern. There’s a lot in there I don’t want anyone around. I asked that he let me use mind-magic of my own to verify his intentions were sound before I let him. In order to facilitate the discussion, he drew a circle, and then began weaving an effect. It was… fascinating to watch him do it. He uses focuses like we do, but… is it more symbolic meaning? Why not shortcut, and tap into the true spiritual nature of things. I guess I don’t do that when I make summoning circles. I wonder if the effect was to focus his magic to a spot, like in my rites? So much to learn.
Once that was done, communication came much more readily. I explained how I was stuck in Flux, and… some of the pains I had. I told him basically everything. And I nearly started wailing like a pup when I did. I managed to keep my emotions in check - dwelling on that time is not going to be healthy for me, I know it. He seemed impressed that I managed to assert my will on the reality of Flux. It’s nice to hear another Angalkuq compliment my skill, even if it is a world warper.
He offered to burn off the leftover energy from sitting on a fount of change energy for a year, using that to fuel twisting things back. He said however I ended up is however I would likely stay. At first, this was cause for concern. I started weighing risks and rewards. But the desire to have my own bones back was overwhelming, and I agreed to do it. This was incredibly foolish of me. With enough time, I could construct a more thought out plan. But I wanted to be nukalpiaq again so bad. I took the wolf shape and laid down. He spent a while investigating my magic. No doubt he knows more about my gifts and rites than I do, now. Eventually, he gave it a go. “Time Energy” I didn’t even know was left over came out and burned up in a fairly spectacular way. This caused me to come to my senses, and realize the cost of a mistake was incredibly high. We were already committed then. He used his magic to play around with my insides, and vivisect out the extra tail.
I puked all over.
He started to get more energetic, yanking at organs and battering me around for… I don’t know. Maybe an hour? Less than that. Hard to tell. He gave up and apologized. I saw why pretty quickly: The tail was gone, but I was still lacking… man-ness. He said Time is gone, the tail was gone, but the rest was too hard for his knowledge of Life Magic. That it was weakened, and may drip out over time, in hope. He described it as weakening threads (vines), and that there was one he could not cut. Unless it heals, it should die.
I really don’t have much assurance it won’t heal. Didn’t he say once the energy was burned off, I would likely remain as I was? I have hope, but it’s less than I woke up with.
I think I babbled something about trading with him at the end. To be honest, I was too worn out by having my guts rifled through, and the thought about remaining woman was foremost on my mind. I staggered back to my Tuunrat for a bit of a rest, before I made it back to the Kass’at house for the healing fetish.
This was all bad decision making by me. I should have taken it more cautiously. It was very impulsive of me. I hope in accepting his offer, I haven't made the situation worse to work against. I just...
I’m going to have to look into what traditions are, and what an Orphan is. Also, sprits with a tangible power of metamorphosis. I need to learn more about Flux, and whether I’ll be fighting my own form’s desire to be immutable now that the leftover energies are burnt off. And if I /do/ change eventually, I need to find out if it’s worth my time to ‘adapt to the situation’ to keep my tuunrat pleased with me, or just ride it out until things change, when they’ll calm down again.
I also need to work on these dreams.
