Tass. I must have tass. Oh, and meeting with Nick, too.
Wednesday, 26 March 2014 23:00![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
littlesilvertipMeeting with the mage is always interesting. This time was no exception.
Most of the morning was chores, and practice. I feel like I’m close to getting the trick of opening holes in the gauntlet at will, and pulling calling Elementals through. I still need to master earth and wind, but I can get fire and water to come to my summons quickly. I can see them across the gauntlet with my gift, waiting for me to open a way for them, when I use their signs to call them. Unless, I call one after the other, in which case the two start fighting. Getting them through to the animal lands is still elusive, though. Once it started getting close to sundown, I went to maqi, and put on a heavy shirt. One that would conceal more of my figure, so I wouldn’t have to worry about him staring the whole time.
Before I let him know I was there, I sniffed around his place, and noticed he had been burying things. Something metal? Also, he had been trying to scent mark his ‘territory.’ He also did a magic trick to let him howl back to me, when I announced I was there. It’s adorable, him doing wolf stuff.
I made sure to button up before I went in. He noticed I was dressed differently (so he /is/ looking). I told him that it was too hot for my aktuk, and I didn’t feel like wearing clothes that didn’t fit, like wearing clothing for people who are too tall, so I'm wearing what Nova bought me. Later, he told me that he heard from Memory that I knew he looked at me, and wanted to say he didn’t. I know this isn’t entirely true, but I told him it was okay - I was male, once, and I know that it can be hard not to look. He apologized for being weak at life magic, and not being able to change me to male again, and said that he still thinks of me as a man. I told him it’s probably best if both of us don’t think that way anymore. I think I might have convinced him, though I didn’t convince myself.
I asked about Memory, and he confirmed that she basically tells us all everything. I should know better than to try and tell her things in confidence. She warned him to be wary of me, more than because of my auspice. I’m a little hurt. She knows me better than that. Does she not think I’m honourable? Tail-Eater not only understood my concerns, but came up with very clear ways to show he understands my caution. He wasn’t offended at all, which was the best I could hope for. Talking about things he’d done, he’d mentioned that he had ended up in the caern once before; I think he expects me to think if a totem spirit does it, it must be right - like the idiot spirit worshipers in the sept. He also mentioned that he had ‘packed’ with Dana, who was a dreamspeaker. This explains so much about her, and how the wendigo came to claim her as kin… In the end, hearing him understand my concerns, and say there was no way to prove he is good did more to convince me than four hundred stories of ‘good’ things he’d done. He’s not a fool. He can put himself were I am in his mind, and smell what I smell.
To show sympathy with him, I told him that sometimes I do not do good things - like my frenzy on Circles; He said he once got ‘carried away’ and created a great lightning storm. But that he hadn’t killed anyone. This surprises me. It’s hard world; that he got as far as he has without killing any humans is impressive.
I’m guessing he thinks of killing animals as different, though, because I’ve seen him eat meat.
We moved on to speaking of other things - I asked him about whether the mages can create ideas that are, themselves, tainting. I was fairly direct in asking, and in hindsight, I shouldn’t have. He told about a time that some Children of the Grandmother fell under the influence of a nephandic book that fed them full of corrupting ideas. It was a pack in the north, about fifteen years ago. He and Dana saved them, and destroyed the book. They remained clean afterwards, as long as he knew. Tail-Eater also said that very powerful will-workers can plant their own, corrupting ideas, but I feel this is rare, and difficult for them (otherwise, why hadn't they won two thousand years ago?) He mentioned that Nephandus are rare, which confused me - if their souls just reattach to new bodies, shouldn’t there only be more? Tail-Eater didn’t know why they were rare.
I asked him to share something with me - something that would help me understand him as a human, and as a mage. His reply was… unexpected. He went and got DVDs. Star Wars. I’ve never watched it, but I remember it from when Grinds the Rail allowed White Bear to watch it. At first I didn’t believe him, but he seemed very serious that his nature, as a mage, came much from the Jedi. And then he came back with an amazing thing. A lightsaber, for me to look at. I reached out to sense the subtle pull of its magic, and he got… upset by that. I pointed out that in order to know that I had been sensing magic, he must have been sensing magic himself… that argument did not go well with him. He threatened using truth telling magic on me, which did not improve things. I had to bite back my rage, and force myself to be calm, so I could ask him if I could do more magic sensing in his house. He agreed. I won’t ask permission to do it out of his house though. He might as well ask me to keep my eyes shut. It was after this he mentioned that Memory had told him about me telling her that I saw him staring at my body before.
I had plenty of time to investigate the Lightsaber, though I couldn’t use rites, or couldn’t take it apart, or use any scrying over it. Still, I learned plenty. Like the ray gun, much care went into making it. It was melded to fit Tail-Eater’s hand, like the use of the pattern breaking gift of reshaping objects. It had pentagrams, and lasers inside. At first, I thought that the thing was a fetish, but then I felt no spirit magic at work in it. It had a distinct feeling of raw magic to it (though to get that, I had to ignore the feeling of all the other magic in the room!). My second idea was that it was a magic artifact of a kind, and not a focus.
I asked him if it was powered by tass, and he opened it up, and removed five… amazing things. The feeling to them was like nothing else. Pure potential. Consolidated power. _This_ is tass. I can see why mages love it so much. I spent some time marveling at the tass, before I decided to myself that I wanted some tass too. I even accidentally said something similar out loud. He said the shifting people only have gnosis and rage as the closest they can get to gathering it (I think he misunderstands rage), but that’s not what I want. I want tass. I don’t even know what I can do with it, but I want it.
One thing I did notice is that when I held the tass, I could not sense any more magic to the lightsaber. As amazing at it is, it needs tass, and possibly a mage to make it special. Probably to make it work. I think this makes the lightsaber a ‘focus,’ like the ray-gun.
When I got back at night, I took down notes until my hand was in agony. I drew the lightsaber, and the tass, the best I could. I compared what I recalled to the ray gun, and imagined how tass could go in it. Lots of notes. Lots. I wonder… I wonder if I found some tass to study, I could approximate its power with something else. Tail Eater said our gnosis is similar, in his mind. If I could approximate tass, maybe I could make the focus work for me. I’m going to need tass, things to study it with, and a spirit that wouldn’t be opposed to helping me out in the object…
I’m probably rushing this, and I definitely need to finish my chiminage to the air elementals - and I need to begin preparations for forming our pack - but… imagine what I could do!
Most of the morning was chores, and practice. I feel like I’m close to getting the trick of opening holes in the gauntlet at will, and pulling calling Elementals through. I still need to master earth and wind, but I can get fire and water to come to my summons quickly. I can see them across the gauntlet with my gift, waiting for me to open a way for them, when I use their signs to call them. Unless, I call one after the other, in which case the two start fighting. Getting them through to the animal lands is still elusive, though. Once it started getting close to sundown, I went to maqi, and put on a heavy shirt. One that would conceal more of my figure, so I wouldn’t have to worry about him staring the whole time.
Before I let him know I was there, I sniffed around his place, and noticed he had been burying things. Something metal? Also, he had been trying to scent mark his ‘territory.’ He also did a magic trick to let him howl back to me, when I announced I was there. It’s adorable, him doing wolf stuff.
I made sure to button up before I went in. He noticed I was dressed differently (so he /is/ looking). I told him that it was too hot for my aktuk, and I didn’t feel like wearing clothes that didn’t fit, like wearing clothing for people who are too tall, so I'm wearing what Nova bought me. Later, he told me that he heard from Memory that I knew he looked at me, and wanted to say he didn’t. I know this isn’t entirely true, but I told him it was okay - I was male, once, and I know that it can be hard not to look. He apologized for being weak at life magic, and not being able to change me to male again, and said that he still thinks of me as a man. I told him it’s probably best if both of us don’t think that way anymore. I think I might have convinced him, though I didn’t convince myself.
I asked about Memory, and he confirmed that she basically tells us all everything. I should know better than to try and tell her things in confidence. She warned him to be wary of me, more than because of my auspice. I’m a little hurt. She knows me better than that. Does she not think I’m honourable? Tail-Eater not only understood my concerns, but came up with very clear ways to show he understands my caution. He wasn’t offended at all, which was the best I could hope for. Talking about things he’d done, he’d mentioned that he had ended up in the caern once before; I think he expects me to think if a totem spirit does it, it must be right - like the idiot spirit worshipers in the sept. He also mentioned that he had ‘packed’ with Dana, who was a dreamspeaker. This explains so much about her, and how the wendigo came to claim her as kin… In the end, hearing him understand my concerns, and say there was no way to prove he is good did more to convince me than four hundred stories of ‘good’ things he’d done. He’s not a fool. He can put himself were I am in his mind, and smell what I smell.
To show sympathy with him, I told him that sometimes I do not do good things - like my frenzy on Circles; He said he once got ‘carried away’ and created a great lightning storm. But that he hadn’t killed anyone. This surprises me. It’s hard world; that he got as far as he has without killing any humans is impressive.
I’m guessing he thinks of killing animals as different, though, because I’ve seen him eat meat.
We moved on to speaking of other things - I asked him about whether the mages can create ideas that are, themselves, tainting. I was fairly direct in asking, and in hindsight, I shouldn’t have. He told about a time that some Children of the Grandmother fell under the influence of a nephandic book that fed them full of corrupting ideas. It was a pack in the north, about fifteen years ago. He and Dana saved them, and destroyed the book. They remained clean afterwards, as long as he knew. Tail-Eater also said that very powerful will-workers can plant their own, corrupting ideas, but I feel this is rare, and difficult for them (otherwise, why hadn't they won two thousand years ago?) He mentioned that Nephandus are rare, which confused me - if their souls just reattach to new bodies, shouldn’t there only be more? Tail-Eater didn’t know why they were rare.
I asked him to share something with me - something that would help me understand him as a human, and as a mage. His reply was… unexpected. He went and got DVDs. Star Wars. I’ve never watched it, but I remember it from when Grinds the Rail allowed White Bear to watch it. At first I didn’t believe him, but he seemed very serious that his nature, as a mage, came much from the Jedi. And then he came back with an amazing thing. A lightsaber, for me to look at. I reached out to sense the subtle pull of its magic, and he got… upset by that. I pointed out that in order to know that I had been sensing magic, he must have been sensing magic himself… that argument did not go well with him. He threatened using truth telling magic on me, which did not improve things. I had to bite back my rage, and force myself to be calm, so I could ask him if I could do more magic sensing in his house. He agreed. I won’t ask permission to do it out of his house though. He might as well ask me to keep my eyes shut. It was after this he mentioned that Memory had told him about me telling her that I saw him staring at my body before.
I had plenty of time to investigate the Lightsaber, though I couldn’t use rites, or couldn’t take it apart, or use any scrying over it. Still, I learned plenty. Like the ray gun, much care went into making it. It was melded to fit Tail-Eater’s hand, like the use of the pattern breaking gift of reshaping objects. It had pentagrams, and lasers inside. At first, I thought that the thing was a fetish, but then I felt no spirit magic at work in it. It had a distinct feeling of raw magic to it (though to get that, I had to ignore the feeling of all the other magic in the room!). My second idea was that it was a magic artifact of a kind, and not a focus.
I asked him if it was powered by tass, and he opened it up, and removed five… amazing things. The feeling to them was like nothing else. Pure potential. Consolidated power. _This_ is tass. I can see why mages love it so much. I spent some time marveling at the tass, before I decided to myself that I wanted some tass too. I even accidentally said something similar out loud. He said the shifting people only have gnosis and rage as the closest they can get to gathering it (I think he misunderstands rage), but that’s not what I want. I want tass. I don’t even know what I can do with it, but I want it.
One thing I did notice is that when I held the tass, I could not sense any more magic to the lightsaber. As amazing at it is, it needs tass, and possibly a mage to make it special. Probably to make it work. I think this makes the lightsaber a ‘focus,’ like the ray-gun.
When I got back at night, I took down notes until my hand was in agony. I drew the lightsaber, and the tass, the best I could. I compared what I recalled to the ray gun, and imagined how tass could go in it. Lots of notes. Lots. I wonder… I wonder if I found some tass to study, I could approximate its power with something else. Tail Eater said our gnosis is similar, in his mind. If I could approximate tass, maybe I could make the focus work for me. I’m going to need tass, things to study it with, and a spirit that wouldn’t be opposed to helping me out in the object…
I’m probably rushing this, and I definitely need to finish my chiminage to the air elementals - and I need to begin preparations for forming our pack - but… imagine what I could do!
